There’s a big part of me that feels a bit out of place writing about the impact Rainbow Youth has had on me. I never had the privilege of taking part, when I was young, and have only just recently joined the team as the Youth Program Coordinator. Though Rainbow Youthhas not directly influenced my queer experience, it has certainly shaped and supported the community around me.
My journey out of the closet is one told by many. I grew up in a very conservative household, went to a church that did not accept or tolerate my hidden identity, and spent most of my young adult years trying to determine if I was really queer or just “confused”. Some of my peers were part of the LGBTQ+ family and had always known—with such certainty and clarity—that their identity, connected to sexuality, gender, or both, was their truth. They were able to claim it as their own. I found myself incredibly jealous of the seeming ease with which they stood in their self-awareness. I still felt as if I was looking through the keyhole of the increasingly uncomfortable closet I was in.
Fast forward a few years: I became a mother to two amazing humans and spent my late twenties and early thirties simply trying to keep my head above water as a single mom. Concerns about my personhood were put on the back burner. There were now two young people seeking their own identities and places in the world, and I knew I had both the opportunity and the responsibility to open doors and create spaces for them to grow into their full, accepted selves.
My youngest came out in elementary school, and my oldest in middle school. I found myself once again confronted with my own identity. Watching my children explore themselves—peeling back layers of understanding as they came—without fear of judgment (at least in their home), fundamentally changed me. There was, and is, no keyhole for them—there wasn’t even a closet. There were GSAs at their schools (the first one in proximity to me wasn’t founded until my senior year), friends who were also out and queer, supportive teachers, Pride events—and groups like Rainbow Youth.
I had the privilege and challenge of planning the Keizer Pride Fair in 2021, in honor of my children. While their community had elements of acceptance, there was still clear and significant room for growth—so we made room for that growth. So many people showed up: families, individuals, and so many young people—some who even snuck out of their homes just to be among their community. Rainbow Youth was tabling that day, and I still remember one youth coming up to me with a beaded flower crown they had made, just to say thank you for being in Keizer. Youth from the community walked around with Pride flags as capes, asked for face paint with their flag colors, and spoke openly about their experiences and what their world is like.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say with certainty whether it was watching my own children thrive with acceptance, seeing the deep desire of other youth for safe spaces to celebrate themselves, or my own tremulous journey that led me to this role. Perhaps it’s all those things. However I got here, what I do know is that Rainbow Youth is what I needed when I was young—a space to explore, meet peers, ask questions, seek guidance, and gain tools and resources to better understand myself. And above all else, to experience unconditional love and acceptance demonstrated by those around me—for the whole me.
I am so proud and honored to be one small part of this organization, which has resiliently worked to build space for queer youth in Salem since 1995. We have such exciting possibilities ahead of us, as well as foreseeable challenges, but I have no doubt that the reason we are here will be what keeps us going.
To all those who have supported Rainbow Youth throughout the years—thank you, from the bottom of my heart. As we continue to grow, change, build, and connect more deeply to the community around us, I am humbled by the resilience of the support we have received. There is more than a little certainty in what we will encounter in the years to come, but this much is true: we will continue to serve and support LGBTQ2SIA+ youth in every way that we can—because they deserve the space to be free, whole, out, and safe.
Claire Coulson, Youth Program Coordinator
